So let's be real, this language thing is a Struggle Bus.
I came here knowing close to zero of the Deutsch. I used Duolingo a bit, and flipped through a textbook, but I was not prepared to communicate with anyone unless I was saying "I eat bread. I drink water. I like chocolate.". I think I maybe almost didn't get my Visa (you have to know German for a visa here), because the woman had no idea what I was saying , so she just kept repeating the question over and over, which made me think I had understood wrong. But that's behind me, whew!
I tried to pick up the language as fast as I could, but when I would try to speaking with the kids I would start speaking Spanish when I didn't know the word in German. This helps no one- not only because I am supposed to help with their English but they also don't speak Spanish. For the most part I have stopped doing this, but every so often a word slips in when I am speaking too fast. Also I often just say pobrecito to my youngest.
I (Yes, three paragraphs starting with I. Clearly I'm not an English major.) should also mention the region I'm in has a really strong dialect. My host mom has said that she's had au pairs who come here already speaking German, but due to the dialect and accent they still had trouble understanding what people are saying. In this sense it was helpful to not know German beforehand, because I was somewhat of a blank slate when picking it up.
Let's fast forward three months. When I leave the area (whether it's to Hamburg, Berlin, or Switzerland), I have more trouble understanding people. This is mutual, as I'm sure that between my American/Swabian/toddler accent and grammar, I am not the easiest to understand either. Usually, if they can, people (sometimes in annoyance) switch to English to speak to me.
An interaction I had in Hamburg:People have given me mixed responses to the German abilities I have acquired. Sometimes they're impressed at what I have picked up in the time I've been here, and sometimes they tell me I need to learn German because I'm in Germany, or more blatantly that my German is simply not good (to be fair this was said to me by a kid, who maybe are not always the most tactful of creatures). So really, I have no idea how well I'm doing.
Me: Ein Milchkaffee bitte
Barista: Ein Filterkafee?
Me: Nein, ein Milchkafee.
Barista: Was?
Me: Ein Milchkaffee?
Barista: (really annoyed) What do you want? A filter coffee?
Me: Milchkaffee (poiting to menu board)
Barista: What?
Me: Yes, okay, a filter coffee.
However, I have become frustrated with the people who tell me to learn German, or think my host mom shouldn't speak English with me.
I try to be understanding when someone says something like this, because I think this belief or type of statement comes from feelings of isolation or being left out of the conversation when they don't understand everything, rather than from maliciousness. The problem with trying to be understanding about it is that I really do empathize with the situation/feeling, but I assume I experience it much more often than the person and thus sometimes get annoyed and can't always help thinking "Actually, this is my life every day. I think you can handle just a minute of it."
On the one hand I know I signed up for a language barrier in coming to Germany. And I know the people who say things like this to me did not sign up for a language barrier in just coming to lunch/going out for the evening/etc, but on the other hand that is still no excuse to be rude or to make someone feel like lesser of a person because they have not mastered a language in three months. Actually, I can think of no excuse for doing this.
It's also just hurtful and frustrating when someone says this because I'm really picking up as much German as I can as fast as I can. It isn't that I'm not trying. Or that I have no desire to learn the language. In fact, I really resent the whole "You don't need to speak German/Italian/French/whatever language, everyone there speaks English!" notion I heard a lot of before I left for here. This is not actually true. And it's disrespectful. Also why would you choose to live in a country with another language with the goal of experiencing a new culture and not bother to give the language a try?
It is just that becoming fluent in a new language is really hard. And I would like to see any one of these people who have said these things to me go to a foreign country with a foreign language in which they have no background and simply learn it. With no formal instruction. And largely from a toddler. And then, to not be relieved when someone speaks their native language to them. Because sometimes it is just nice to have a break from struggling to make yourself understood and to understand what is being said.
Lastly, I think the point of an Au Pair (or one of the points, really) is a cultural exchange- not just a one way street of absorption. Which means sometimes speaking German. And sometimes English. And sometimes minion babble. Which means it is totally fine if my host mom wants to practice her (already very good) English. And it is really no one's concern!
Finally though, I started my language class last week. Since I have been here for three months, it's pretty easy so far (We spent two days learning how to say our name, where we are from, and what we speak). Although now I am having the reverse of the trouble I had when I first got here, in that I've tried speaking Spanish to some people in my class, and it comes out German. So basically I don't know what I speak anymore.
Minion babble. That's what I speak. Bananas!
Basically, the language barrier is a daily ride on the Struggle Bus to Struggle Town where I eat Struggle Pudding. But, I know how to order ice cream and coffee to-go, which makes up about 90% of my interactions outside playing with the kids. So that's good!
